Can you believe it? It’s the 21st Century and we’re still arguing over contraception, for fuck sakes.

Now, there are those amongst you — myself among them — who have lived too long to continue tolerating archaic pre-1960s taboos that we hallucinated overthrowing 45 years ago without feeling a compelling need to rise to the occasion and jerk off in an envelope. Thus I announce to you a new organization that will carry the spirit of ’68 into contemporary times and with it I ask all male members to come join the first action of Sippie!

Sippie!— Senior International Party picks up where Yippie! — Youth International Party left off.  Why Sippie? Is it because we’ll all be sipping from cups through straws held for us by nurses in a few years? Depends!

Depends

 

And how did Sippie! come into being?  The birth occurred this afternoon when I thought of it while making a tuna fish sandwich and in a moment when I was lacking in contraceptive devices against foolish notions

And so, for the first SIPPIE! protest action, we call upon all male members to participate in:

EVERY SPERM IS SACRED!

everysperm

Mail Your Jizz to Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker!

Participation is simple.  First, you get an envelope.  Next you…  wait, do I really have to explain this? 

JizzFace

 

 

Women, of course, can assist in this endeavor by…   wait, do I really have to explain this?

2JizzFace

 

To those of you who get the ol’ knickers in a twist over such things, I apologize profusely for not thinking of a more gender neutral action but I just couldn’t get the sperm outta my head.

The mailing address for Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker is 115 East State Capitol, Madison WI 53707.

Please note that, in spite of our best efforts, you cannot yet send sperm via email. 

Disclaimer: Author R.U. Sirius has at no time advocated that you send sperm through the mail to Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker. The text you believe you have just read does not, in fact, exist. Everything is pointless. Have a cupcake.